I will always remember him , Angweijian .
谢谢你爱过我 . 我多么希望他还在我的身边 .


In this past five month , we've been through a lot . Almost everything together . But now , i couldn't be with him anymore . Yous really must take good care of yourself .
Letting you go , i dont know is it a good choice or not . I hope you'll do great without me . Don't make me regret letting you go , 因为我最放不下的始终是你，永远都是..
谢谢你，for letting me finding back my smile , my love and myself for the past five months . Although now , i've to lose it all again . And this time , losing yous as well . But , im satisfied . Cause , i found who i really loved and im very happy for the past five months with you .
I love you in the past , now and i also will , in the future .
I miss everything with you , but its no longer mine anymore . What left with me , is just our memories and my tears accompanying me . 哭过就好了，我希望 .


Everything started when we first chatted online . Always Online , remembered ? (:
" I don't want to believe in you anymore " ,
In the end , i still did believe . Lying to me that your age is actually an old uncle ones . Your two hours of waiting . And , im actually in front of the computer screen tidying up stuffs . Dumb you . When im down and being accuse , the first person that i thought suddenly was you .
Because of this , we both had been engaged in an unexpected relationship , something that i never regret . Imm , was the place that we met for the first time . The sky garden , where we trashed and talk things out . Teasing me about my dragging of slippers , till we sat down . Saw kids running around and one playing with the water furiously . And , it makes us laugh out loud . Naughty me cursing those children to fall down from the playground . Introducing you to a super duper sour seven-eleven drink cause of my ulcers . (:
Asking you to pinch me just to not let me looked back . Listen to songs and exploring your phone , discussing about songs and looking at the pretty sky with you sitting beside me . After your work , continued chatting at the shelter . Caring you , use your arms to wrap around me a distance away just to in case that i fall . Despite on falling , i still insist on sitting up there looking at the sky with you standing beside . (:
The next meet up was one day after Christmas . Kopitiam eating with you , Fishball noodle extra spicy and additional Seafood . I remember slapping at the traffic light , telling Iris . " Nah , I and you is totally impossible . " Slacking under block and trying to make quiet you talked . You helped me with opening the stupid sweet . Because of my " fei fei " , when over to sit with you . Unexpectedly , i feel more comfortable . (:
Did you realised , i've lesser or even no more " fei fei " after being with you ? That is how comfortable you make me feel . But , two days back , it came back ..
Cause , i've lost this secureness from you , i've this feeling you'll leave me . And , it came true .


You bring me to walked around , watching stars and cars . You hugged me tight just to make me more eased down from my " fei fei " . I wished it would just stayed forever like this . My heart beat fast and i like the feeling . The secureness and comfort is transferred to me by it . It really eased me down . How i wished i won't have to leave , i hope it would stayed forever like this . The third day was went we really grab hold of each other's life . You helped me with carrying and buying of books . Walked around in park and settled down in somewhere beautiful and have a long chat . The chat leads us to speaks of our feelings . And , i realised . i like you .
You asked through using text by phone and passed it to me . I smiled . (:
That was the 27December2009 , 08.25pm .
I saw miracles . Each and everyday , my feelings for you graduatually increased . From i like you , i became to love you . We met almost everyday .
Everyday was different experience with you , swimming , slacking , eating , playing . I enjoyed every embrace of us together , every moment with you . I always wished secretly that night wouldn't fall . So that , we would have plenty of time together . We still had a lot of things to be done together . (:
The first time we went swimming together , was what i enjoyed the most . I was really happy then , yous held on me tight , make sure that im in your arms . Carefully , hug me tight and not intend to let me go . I must thanks to the height of the water . But , it will never again , anymore . New year , i went back to Malaysia . It was torturing for me , i miss you badly . You too , i know . Those nature that i love surrounded me . But , i wasn't happy then . Cause , the one i love most wasn't there with me . And it was you , Angweijian .
I wanted you to experience the feelings with me , i wanted to share the joy with you , i wanted to share everything i love with you . When i saw you , i was delighted . That was when i confirmed i love you deeply down from my heart . I want to last with you , not only years , but up till the day i closed my eyes for eternalty . I want to have the soul of us ; our children . But , it couldn't be fulfill anymore . That was when i truly understand the real meaning of loving someone . To be there for him without return , to forgive and forget , to 包容 everything about him .


When i was sick , yous cooked for me . Not once , a lot of times . You cooked before Porridge , Fried rice , Cajun Chicken , Egg , Seafood soup with a lot of ingredients , Nuggets , Crab and a lot more , its countless . You brought me for Grocery shopping . You know i love Grocery shopping with you , being together choosing for vegetables , meat for our meals . Supermarket was then another place that we often went . (:
Prepared steamboat for your mommy for Mother's day was the most recent . Remember , i watched the show and get too aggigated . Stun you . (:
We ton together , and sleep for the whole night together , with you by my side . I felt your warmth , your smile . Watched you sleep became another hobby of mine , sometimes i would just wakeup and looked at yous sleeping soundly , playing around with your hair . I will be missing this hobby of mine very very much .
The first time you ride me on bic , it was just a few days ago . I could look closely at you , feeling the breeze and looked at the sky with yous close with me .

Yous always asked me why i looked at yous so closely , i always smiled .
Cause , i know you dont want me to worry thats the reason why you keep everything in your heart , im learning to read you , read your expression . That's why i kept on looking at yous closely . Im afraid , if someday , anything happens , im still able to remember your face cause i looked closely and did a good study of it . Like now , I've to depends on my memory to see you . In case , when i really couldn't control myself and breakdown in any situation . When i remembered your face , your words of comfort , i'll feel a little more ease , and to do that , i only can reminise yous , your expression . (:


East coast , we had a lot of photos taken . But , all was gone due to my missing phone , yous saw me crying , you came and comfort me . You promise to take a lot of pictures with me in the future and put all our memories in a album . But , it all stopped .
We did quarrels , had misunderstanding and worst still , yous falling in love with another girl . But , all those , we managed to been through all together . All obstacles , we passed with flying colours but we failed this . But , i'll be waiting .
Fated brought us together for a reason , tears dropped for a reason . And , i love you for a reason . That reason is to bring you out of harm , to dote on you , to love you wholeheartedly and to protect you in any case . I believe in fate , i know you did a lot of me too , i knw you do miss me , i know you do love me just the same like how i do . (:
I believe fate will bring us back together someday , cause i know our love doesn't fade away . I'll be waiting . I don't know how long could i stay strong , could i take without you by my side . But , for your sake , i'll try my best not to let my tears drop while waiting for you to be back .
I miss you badly right now , and what im gonna do to reminise you is just to walked back the route we always take , the place we always go , do what we always did .
I hope there's stars tonight . Although , i don't believe in stars anymore but i still want to take a look at it . Cause , its the only way that i can feel your presence once again .


The last wish i make to the stars was , wishing i could walked through everything with Angweijian together and never leaving him alone . The star lied . It didn't came through . I lost beliefs in it . Now , I only could hope fate bring Weijian back and only could count on miracles to make the last says ..

Labels: 带我走，不要丢下我一个人 .